God, hear my heart

God, hear my heart

After I published God, touch my heart, I had the desire to go through a process with God where he would not only touch my heart but also change it. That’s how I came up with the ‘Matters of the heart’ series. When the new year started off, I decided to draw near to God and make him a priority for the first month, before I can make any plans. In 2020 I started off the same way but as Covid – 19 hit it took a toll on my mental health. For the first half of 2020 I really did have a routine of studying scripture and praying but as my mental health started to deteriorate. I had reached a point in my life where I could no longer pray and read the word because I was in so much pain. God tested my faith in a way that I did not expect. As I took the punch of depression and anxiety, issues started rising in my home . With no way to go turn, I found myself in a place where I’d considered giving up. I found myself back on my knees just begging God to hold me together, as my strength was depleted. In the last month of 2020 God started picking me up and I was well on my way to recovery. I wasn’t even happy that I was getting better but I was so happy that I could get back to praying and be close to God again. Slowly, and each day at a time I started getting back to my routine of praying. I found myself at a place where I started praising God. It was the hardest season I’ve had to endure.
Now let me tell you a story about how powerful prayer is. After my fast, I started to slowly drift away from God. I started pulling back into my sinful ways and I just didn’t have any time to pray and read the word. My spiritual alignment is made up of Atleast, one sermon a week, worship music everyday and prayer every night. The whole of February I’ve been drifting and today I’m at a point where I’m just spiritually dry and there’s no alignment. I miss God. I miss spending time with him. I was busy living in the moment and having fun that I forgot that I can’t afford any distractions. Ive lacked in creating content. A series of events happened where I started to break down and I could feel that this is time to get back to God. You know that awful feeling like you’ve failed God and you’re scared to return to him because of the shame of what you’ve been doing. I took time out today just to reflect on everything and I felt in my heart that was calling for me again to return and repair the broken line of communication so I did the natural thing, where I laid down my heart and I returned to God. I prayed and cried asking God to accept me. I acknowledged that I need him. Nothing was going well in my life. Immediately I played a worship song that I usually listen to when all things around me are falling apart and I know I’ve done wrong. I had to remind myself that God loves me. Soon after that I found a sermon and the title was ‘Acceptance’. It didn’t take long for me to feel God’s presence when I read on the screen of my phone ” I accept you, because you’re mine”. In that moment I knew God heard my prayer and he was accepting me regardless of how badly I messed up and how far away I was from him. I listened to the sermon and I did not expect that word to address everything that I had prayed for. I cried out to God and I surrendered the areas of my life I was trying to control and that I didnt understand.
I had an idea as I was planning the series that the ‘God, hear my heart’ section would be a prayer to God but then it hit me that I should come here and share with you guys the message that God hears our hearts. He knows what’s going on. God is waiting for us to open our mouths and speak. We are his children and he loves us. He would never reject us like the world. He is ready to embrace and accept us back into his loving arms. Today, I came to tell you that God hears what’s on your heart and he will answer you. God can handle anything. Trust him with your hearts desires and pain. If it’s a matter of the heart. Take it to God. Gaurd your heart for life flows from it.

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