In Honour of Mental Health Day, I want to celebrate everyone who’s been trying. I recently just got discharged from a wellness facility and I met amazing people there. I met people across so many professions. The people there were actually so warm and were so happy at times and I think it’s because they were surrounded by people who understood their condition without having being asked about it or having to explain it to anyone. We shared jokes, laughs, tears and many joyful moments. I’m the type to bring light into a room so even though I was dealing and battling with the same mental illness I pushed myself to bring light to people. Society has not yet understood the the factors that can contribute to mental illness. Only when I arrived at that place did I learn there are hormonal and genetic influences. Life isn’t easy and we’re all trying our best.
In one of my group therapy sessions I learnt that all the mud that covers us from everyday life covers the real parts of who we are. No one is perfect but everyone is God’s masterpiece. In order to heal you need to do the work to clean the mud off of you.
You see, I had reached my breaking point and I knew I needed help and there was no way I could heal myself. Yes, I’m a Christian and I very much so advocate that only God can heal us. That does not mean you should not use the tools he gives us to become better.
My motivation has been Jesus this whole time. I wanted to do it not only for myself and my future children but I did for God. This whole year turned out completely different to how I had imagined it to be but God intentionally spoke words over my life and I honestly went to get help so I can remove the mud that’s stopping me from being who God told me to be. I know I had to go through this phase of healing in order to lay a hold of the blessings to come. God gave me a purpose and I’ll fight for my purpose just as much as he fights for me.
I did it! It’s the end of the road on this journey. No, I’m not saying I’m healed but I did 21 days in hospital with back to back therapy and I was put on medication to help my condition so I could be better. I was told that the healing was not going to be instant and that it might take a while. On my last day God said to me that this is a journey but you take one step at a time and He will take every step with me, holding me with his right hand.
Smell the roses of where you are, take time to admire where you are and know that God put you there for a reason. Yes I know it feels like a never ending battle in your mind but I promise to share tips on how to get better from what they taught me in hospital but you must take the first step; you must reach out for help. Be brave enough to admit you need help and don’t forget that mental illness does not define who you are. It is not you. It’s a condition you have. If I have something and I no longer want it, I throw it away or give it away. I dare you to give away whatever diagnosis you have at the feet of Jesus and watch what he does with it. But you have to believe. I am Teboho Matabane, I am fearfully and wonderfully made, I’ve been set apart and was handpicked by God and he called me by name. I am not depression and anxiety and a mood disorder. No! I am who God says I am. Sure I’ve got a long way to go but hey. We in this together.
I love you and may God’s light shine on you and may his peace be with your spirit.