In addition to let’s be real, let’s be free, I am on a mission to be free in the area that I struggle with the most and we all probably struggle with this. I’m officially a few weeks away from 25 and I’ve decided that I don’t want to get into it with baggage. I walked into 24 broken and you saw that it led me into purpose. The one thing that I battled with and what I’ve recently discovered is that I never really learnt how to forgive myself. I think the thing that holds us back from seeing that we are truly forgiven by God through Christ is that we hold on to what we did. We know that we are forgiven the second we ask for forgiveness. We’re told that if we repent God forgives our sins immediately. Although we know this, our past mistakes still haunt us because we haven’t let go of the pain. I haven’t really figured out how to forgive myself and it makes it hard to believe that God has already forgiven me. It keeps me from seeing the truth that I was forgiven a long time ago and that there’s nothing that God is holding against me. It’s been hard to accept who God says I am because I keep questioning why he would choose me to do something and represent the kingdom when I was the one that messed up. One of the things I’ve had to really forgive myself for, are the moments in my healing process that I tripped and fell and went back to the thing that God took me away from and saved me from. Basically I hated the things that made me human and I had to shift my mind and realise that healing is a process and messing up is a part of the process. This is what makes me human and I need to be kinder to myself.
Before I get into a new chapter, I have come to a place where I really want to forgive myself and others so I can be free. In order for me to experience freedom in Christ, I have to learn to be free in all areas. I want to break free from the prison that the enemy has put me in. I want to let go and be free from everything so I can enter into the new dimension and new season with a new heart. God said to me that I am in a season where he is requiring me to empty the old harvest for a new harvest. He’s been showing me that I need to make room in my mind, heart and life for the new life. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that God would tell me this everyday a few weeks before I enter into a new age. He’s been telling me that I need to let things fall apart so he can rebuild a new foundation. He told me it’s time to be a blank page and I need to allow him to write my story. I need to allow him to come in and do a new thing in my life. I love this, because it removes the pressure off of me and it gives me an opportunity to see the good plan and promises of God.
I may not have all that I wanted to have by 25 but I’m ok with that because I know that God has blessings waiting for me on the other side. The scripture that God gave me at the start of the year is the one of the Israelites crossing over into the promise land. Up until now I realise that I was on the journey to the promise land. With its setbacks, persecution and obstacles, it’s evident that the place of milk and honey exists. How do I know this? Because I’m saying goodbye to 24 with hope in my heart and I’m ready to say goodbye without bitterness. I’ve been struggling to let go but to sit here and say goodbye without holding on really gives me the freedom to be ok with everything and just be at peace and forgive everything. I’m ready to move on and I can’t wait for all of you to join me on this new journey.
This isn’t the last of the ‘let’s be real let’s be free’ movement, but for now I want you to embrace newness and the beauty of the unknown and free yourself from old baggage. Remember forgiveness is for you to be free. Till next time, Love you all.
“You will still be eating last year’s harvest when you will have to move it out to make room for the new” – Leviticus 26: 10