New beginning

New beginning

And so the journey begins…. 

A brand new beginning….

Welcome to my blog! As I start this new journey, I invite you to live and experience the moments in my life that make me who I am and I hope I can inspire you and maybe start a movement that’s bigger than me. 

It’s so funny how the things we try and shy away from become the very thing that God uses to edify the Kingdom. I’ve always had a deep connection with words and I fell in love with Journaling and and writing poetry in highschool.  It started out as something I did to express the things I couldn’t verbally articulate but were so vivid in my mind. In some way it was a way to ease the pain of my  thoughts. You see, I sometimes live inside my head and a part of me is always dying to just release it all out into the atmosphere.  Here’s something so strange. I’ve had a lot to say but I hated the feeling of being judged or even just ignored. I have a voice, I know I do, but I lost my voice when I started to hide behind the pain of my trauma. I don’t know about you, but the more I went through pain, the more ashamed I was because I thought that my experiences made me different and weird. I was afraid that the world wouldnt accept me. 

OK, before I get carried away and tell you my life story – which you will soon find out as time goes by. 

In 2018 I graduated and started my first 9-5 job and while I was there, I was very unfulfilled and so depressed. I knew that this couldn’t be my life and I knew I didn’t want to be here, but hey I sucked it up because God blessed me with a job literally a day before my graduation and I wouldn’t fall into the “unemployed statistics”. I was so grateful. The journey to seek my purpose began and with each day I had to seek the Lord. I re-dedicated my life to Christ and I was well on my way to discovering who I am and what I was put on this earth to do. The more God revealed who I was, the more trapped I felt at that job and in my mind because I couldn’t articulate to anyone that God is taking me somewhere I wasn’t prepared to go. I was so depressed that I started to journal my feelings because I had no one but God to talk to. One day I woke up and started googling how to start a blog and well. I signed up on the spot. That’s where it ended…. Fast forward to 2020 January. I was doing a 21 day journal challenge with my pastor Heather Lindsey and one day God told me “You will start a blog this year. You have so much to say and I know you struggle with your youtube videos so start the blog “. I was unsure, not of the voice but of the idea of going back to something I could barely start. I told myself I would meditate on it and just make sure, even though I knew in my heart, that this is where I belong.  

It’s the 1st of April 2020 at 22:43. I’m sitting on the couch and typing this out. There really is no better way to start a new month. I’m really just taking a leap of faith, waiting to see where God takes me with this.

I am Teboho Matabane and this is glimpse of what I have to offer and a piece of my heart. 

PS :Thank you God for everything and for bringing me this far.

“Finishing is better than starting. Patience is better than pride.” 
Ecclesiastes 7:8 NLT

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